Be REAL | Believing in the Power of REAL | Are you real?
One of my favourite topics of all time. It is a sequential learning methodology that I have been practising in many aspects of my life, so far, it has been REAL-LY useful. When I said sequential learning means how can I learn from myself and how I can use this method to learn from others.
How R → E → A → L being developed for effective communication
I have often received this feedback from my fellow business partners after business meetings. “Penny, you are too naked!” The word “naked” has been stuck in my head for quite some time. It is usually refer to I literally had surpassed a certain extent of — I do not really take into consideration how people are going to perceive and think about me.
I understand there is fear when we get criticised, or receiving feedback from others, or how people think about us based on what we said and how we behave. Of course, I do care.
But my principle is much more into looking into the truth and seeking the real cause and real needs of people and matter. I enjoy being upfront and speak up for the tough conversation, skilfully.
When dealing with business or people, sincerity is a great virtue to foster trust and build credibility. Sincerity first required one being real to themselves and towards others. Being real does not mean we do not care about others’ feelings, it means we are being real to the emotion of ourselves and others. And we further dig deeper into what really matters here, what is the real concern here.
Being real means gaining clarity on the purpose and intention of oneself too.
Through my experience in the highly people-related and interpersonal-related industry, I realised that the lasting impact and sustainable transformation only comes from oneself being real to themselves and towards others.
Some called it authentic communication but might be still vague about the know-how.
There was a night while I was drafting a customised training proposal for a company. The client’s training objective is to ensure his core team members establish effective communication to prepare for the upcoming business expansion plan. Hence, while I was drafting the effective communication and leadership workshop proposal. I have come out with a sequential effective communication learning model called R.E.A.L. (REAL).
This was being developed before I was being introduced and completed the Neuro-Linguistic program (NLP). I understand the major component for effective communication starts from SELF-REFLECTION, reflecting on our own thoughts and behaviours.
We then learn to understand the power of EMOTION. Emotions mean Feeling, we often make a decision based on feeling, the feeling is influencing how we make choices in almost everything in every second. When we are able to observe and study our emotions, it is leading to awareness. SELF-AWARENESS is the beginning of change.
To change, we need to LEARN and adopt new perspectives and a new way of working things out.
I have developed two full days of effective communication and leadership training programme based on the very first draft REAL model. The impact of the training programme has led me to further develop on the REAL framework and I would like to share this ideology to the world regardless of applying in the professional or personal context.
How this principle has been powering my life
REAL is an effective tool for self-learning, self-discovery and self-exploration. More importantly, REAL is a useful interpersonal tool to help oneself start conversing within. I have been practicing REAL in the arena of people-management, business, leadership and as well as family and friends.
Quality of communication determines the Quality of a relationship.
Quality of a relationship then determines the Quality of our Meaning towards life.
PERSONAL GROWTH
SELF-EXPLORATION
One of my ongoing self-exploration journeys in this lifetime is seeking the truth in life and in people. Being real is about aspiring oneself to be true to their life purpose and calling. Being real meaning truly applying and accepting that “decisions are made based on the best option available at the moment in time” (a thinking filter that I learned from NLP) which I found this thinking filter is a great thinking tool to deal with regrets and anxiety. This only happens when we are able to have a real conversation with ourselves.
REAL-LY? Is this what you want and who you are?
Application within self leads me to find out what I REALLY want to do in life and who I really was. The life vision and mission and who truly I am.
And so far the REAL journey has been great to bring REAL change for my life.
REAL is an ATTITUDE.
PASSION.CAREER
It has definitely got to do with personal management such as how I apply REAL in chasing what I want to pursue in life. Since I was in high school, I knew what I wanted, which is to earn extra pocket to pay for my additional tuition fees. Hence, I have been taking up the challenge to be a transcriber for a market research company. Throughout the freelance journey, I have learned a lot before finishing high school. And I am daringly to put myself into experiencing different thing, in sales, in building sales team to management, to founding few ventures at the same time with a group of very real business partners and team too.
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PERSONAL FINANCE
Being real to myself by rectifying my financial mistakes and correcting my wrong financial decisions. Debt management is my biggest lesson, I am being REAL to myself that I do not want to live miserably with everyday waking up thinking about solutions to solve my piling up debts years ago, I shifted my perspectives by being Real to myself everyday by tracking my finances, and being REAL to look into workable alternatives to increase my income sources and work harder for the better. The takeaways are just more than recovering from debt but I had discovered many opportunities unfolded along the way.
FAMILY
I remembered there was once I had a REAL conversation with my father too. I have reflected on my own emotion while it triggered me while my dad and mom have a really severe fight in the family. I was triggered badly. But I have decided to take the REAL approach to initiate a conversation to understand my dad and I then understood his intention and feelings. Since then, I don’t do the “I thought” I know how he think. Everyone perceives and experiences the meaning of feelings differently. Even the closest and our loved ones, start the so-called-you-thought difficult conversation today with R.E.A.L. Family members are here to help us to learn and grow in this lifetime.
There is a saying that we always take for granted to the people that are closest to us, the closest to us, the hardest sometimes for us to initiate a conversation. be REAL to communicate with our loved ones when we faced difficulties and adversities in life. In the beginning stage is an art to learn, how to cultivate the REAL culture in family is good to start with. Most importantly, BE REAL to express love, to express care, to express support, be it verbal or non-verbal, it has to start from within us.
Probably you could relate to, we have no problem and we always wanted to bring happiness back home, but how about sharing challenges, parents do worry when the children are not doing well out there. And children always thought that I shall not burden and worry my family and parents — but that is not true. I remembered that was once, I wanted to be REAL to express my thoughts to my parents after a car accident, I did not want them to worry that I almost died in the car accident but I know I wanted to own up the recklessness I have done to myself. How if that was the last moment of my life and I had so much left unspoken to my parents. Hence, I written a long letter to convey my real thoughts and my real feelings to them at that stage of life.
REAL is a great virtue to practice in this fast-paced and highly-driven social media imposition world. REAL means accepting and challenging the status quo. REAL channeled a new form of energy.
The world needs a new form of REAL energy now.
I cannot finish the story of how REAL came about without sharing with you a dialogue that had sparked me:
As this sentence has struck me until today, which is a dialogue from the movie “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” directed by Timur Bekmambetov, the character, Henry Sturges: True strength lies not in hate but in truth. This has definitely inspired me to realised even deeper about
“Real power only comes from the truth”.
Stay Tune for REAL Messes that I am going to share with you next :
Can’t wait to share with you — how I own up what I had messed up my ventures with my dearest team and business partners in my next chapter of REAL. the REAL stuff is painful. and it takes time to sink in. sink in…
Not to forget — how to apply R → E → A → L right? I will do my best to put it into words on how can I share with you my internal reengineering of REAL.
Share with me your REAL thoughts after reading this — reach me at pennyleong.enrich@gmail.com
